


Glinda the Good Witch

by Briana_Dubs



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Civil War hasn't happened yet, I don't know what type of AU this is but it's not really following much past age of ultron, M/M, Swearing, he knows tony can help him get out of there a lot faster than he can alone, loki and tony are stranded on a planet together, loki isn't an idiot, ragnarok is hinted at, they have to work together, tony has a pottymouth, tony is attracted to danger, tony likes naming his suits stupid things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 00:45:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15303714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briana_Dubs/pseuds/Briana_Dubs
Summary: “Very well, boss. What should we call this new suit, then?”Rubbing his chin, Tony thought about it. He looked to Loki, but Loki only motioned a hand to him and told him that it was his decision. Eyes lighting up, Tony announced, “Let’s call it Maleficent!”“Oh, Norns…” Loki rubbed his hand against his forehead.“Okay, then how ‘bout Elphaba?!”“Boss, if I may, why not Glinda the Good Witch?”





	Glinda the Good Witch

Hands.

Tony Stark couldn’t feel his hands.

Why couldn’t he feel his hands…? He tried to move his arms to see if there was something on them, but his arms were stuck. Why were his arms stuck?

Blinking open bleary eyes and groaning, Tony was met with a room that was much too bright and much too dark all at once. The room itself must have been dark, but there were spotlights shining in his face. Why were there spotlights? He wasn’t giving a speech, was he?

He jerked his arms again, and grimaced. Still stuck. It took him far too long to realize his arms were tied behind his back. That would explain the numb hands, then. How long had he been tied up? Was this another ransom situation? God, he really hated being famous sometimes.

After continuing to blink and not getting any information other than bright fucking light shining right in the face, Tony gave up and let his eyes fall shut. He could feel a collar around his neck and some part of him wondered about that, but he instead tried to focus on the noises around him. Noises… Sounds… Was that language? Was someone talking near him?

Yes… Wait, no. No, there were a lot of people talking. That language definitely wasn’t anything he had ever learned. One voice sounded like it was speaking into a microphone and the other voices were shouting. It sounded like there were arguments. Maybe? The guy at the microphone was repeating whatever was shouted at him. Fuck, his head felt like it was swimming. Come on, focus Tony, what does this sound like? One guy being shouted at and shouting the same things back at people… What was that…?

Eventually he heard a ‘bang’ noise that was so loud he flinched. He then was hefted up by his tied arms and dragged… somewhere. Every time he opened his eyes a different light was shining in his face. It was only when the cold hard surface below his feet was replaced with something that felt sort of like carpeting that Tony finally felt it might have been safe to open his eyes.

Of course, as soon as he did, someone jabbed him with something sharp. Probably a needle. Oohh, drugs, that would explain the way the room was spinning and blurry. The last thing he registered in his vision was someone who kind of looked black and white. Fuck, were the drugs messing with his perception of color too?

“Whatever,” he grumbled before passing out.

 

* * *

 

Tony woke up so violently that he actually fell off the… couch? When was there a couch? Wasn’t he kidnapped? His kidnappers just left him in their fucking living room? Who does that?

“Oh, you’re finally awake, are you?” Tony’s eyes narrowed at the couch as he registered someone speaking. He was sure he knew that voice.

Spinning himself around, Tony looked in the direction he heard the voice and… froze. “Loki?” He cocked his head to the side and stared. Long black hair, pale skin, kind of crazy looking- yeah that was Loki. “Okay, color me confused. Thor said you were dead, what the fuck is this?” Tony had started to move to stand, but stopped. “Oooohh, am I dead? That’s it, huh? I’m dead and this is like my own tiny personal hell? Or are you just the welcoming party?” He finally managed to stand, wobbling none too gracefully though. “A ‘welcome to eternal suffering’ type thing?”

The god, who Tony finally noticed was sitting in a weird egg shaped armchair, rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Oh, honestly… Do you feel dead? Look at yourself, do you actually believe yourself to be dead?”

Pouting, Tony patted himself over. Okay, so no tech. Great. He didn’t even have his pho—“Woah, hold the fuck up, what happened to my clothes!?” He spun around, looking at himself. His body, which had previously been covered with a lovely red Armani suit, was now clothed by a thin white shirt and pants. “Who the fuck took my suit!?”

“Whoever captured you, I would assume,” Loki responded, not moving from where he was seated. “I take it you’ve finally—“

Tony stopped his spinning. “Wait, you’re not the one who captured me?”

“… Really…?” Loki was looking at him like he was the biggest idiot he had ever seen in his life. “ _Why,_ in all the Nine Realms, would I want to kidnap you?”

Tony shrugged. “I dunno. Sick satisfaction? Torture? Some weird sex slave thing? I could rattle off a dozen reasons, just stop me if I get it right.”

Rolling his eyes, again, Loki snipped, “Despite what you might think, I did not kidnap you, Stark.”

After waiting for a moment to see if Loki would explain further and getting nothing, Tony huffed and sat himself down on the weird lumpy arm of the couch in the room. “And the whole not dead thing?”

“Oh,” Loki turned his head away with a long exhale. “No, I am not dead, as you’ve observed. I… nearly died.” He glanced back at Tony, saw he was waiting for more, and groaned. “I hadn’t meant to trick Thor. Truly, I had thought I was going to die. Perhaps I did, for a moment before I came back to myself…”

Nodding a few times, Tony took a moment to look around the room. It looked kind of like an apartment. Except weird. It seemed like everything in the place was either round or lumpy. The counters looked like they had been held under some sort of heat gun and ended up wrinkling and warping. The walls were all white and there wasn’t a single window anywhere. There was a silver door a little ways behind Loki with a little peep hole in it. Was this a freaky hotel?

Returning his attention to the god, Tony asked, “So, uh, where are we?”

“Some horrid planet,” Loki replied without missing a beat. Like Tony’s brief moment of silence to look at the room hadn’t happened. “I doubt the name matters. It’s a dreadful place.”

“Okaaaayy…” Tony grimaced a little.

Waving his right hand, Loki let a small green flame swirl around his fingers absently. “I am as yet unsure how either of us came to be on this miserable rock, but it is outside the Nine realms, and I cannot teleport myself off of it. I had been planning on either buying or stealing a ship to get myself somewhere that is within my realm of magic, but purchasing you here has posed a new opportunity.”

“Purchasing me?” Tony repeated, confused and a little bit offended. Not to mention creeped out. “Who the fuck said I was for sale?”

“Your captors, do try to keep up. Anyway—“

“No, no, hold the fucking phone,” Tony interrupted, standing up again. His shoulders were squared with his anger. “I am not for sale. You don’t get to just buy me.”

Loki rolled his eyes for the third time and Tony was ready to poke something sharp and pointy onto them. “Had it not been me it would have been someone else, and I am sure they would have been much less accommodating of your wishes.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean!?”

“It means you were up for auction!” Loki bit back, rising up from his seat. “Masters were bidding on you in the hopes of acquiring you as their slave!” Tony shrunk back at that and fell back onto the arm of the couch. Loki had stormed up close to him while he yelled. “You should consider yourself lucky that I managed to buy you at all! The imbecilic auctioneer thought that this,” he jabbed a finger at the arc reactor shimmering behind Tony’s thin shirt, “was a piece of jewelry! You would either be broken or dead right now if I did not realize you would be useful in escaping this miserable place!”

Tony had to put his hand back on the couch to keep himself from falling backwards. He stared up at Loki, more than a little afraid but completely unwilling to admit it, and tried not to flinch when the god touched his reactor.

When Loki finished shouting, Tony let his gaze fall as he stared at nothing. “So… so that’s what was going on? I was being sold like a piece of meat?” Loki nodded, but it went unseen by Tony’s wide, blurry gaze. “I was supposed to be a slave…?”

“Yes.”

Tony could feel himself starting to hyperventilate. “Why did you buy me?”

“Your knowledge of technology would be useful in making sure a ship could survive a trip through space.”

“You,” a shaky inhale, “You’re not gonna fuck me?” Tony could feel himself shaking. He was trying to focus his vision on something. Anything. Fuck, he could hear how loud he was breathing. A hand settled on his shoulder and Tony’s attention jolted to it. He was able to focus on the fabric of the sleeve. Leather? Probably leather. It looked smooth. Okay, Tony, count the stitches on that piece there. One, two, three…

After what felt like an eternity, Tony finally calmed down. His breathing returned to normal and he looked up at Loki. The god wasn’t even looking at him. His thumb was rubbing soothing circles into Tony’s shoulder, but Loki was staring at a weird bookshelf to Tony’s left.

“Thanks,” Tony mumbled, reaching up to squeeze Loki’s wrist and pull it away.

Loki only made a noncommittal noise and let his hands fall to his sides. “To answer your question, no,” he said, “I have no plans to force myself on you. I simply recognized who you were are realized you could help me get out of here faster than without you.”

He swallowed and nodded once. “Did you… did you think that maybe I would want to get out of here too?”

Loki paused at that and looked up at the ceiling. “I suppose that must have crossed my mind at some point, yes. I know had I been in your stead I would have wanted freedom.”

“So you’re really not gonna do anything to me? Not gonna make me cook, clean, and no sex stuff?”

“As I said,” Loki said, voice sounding stiff going through closed teeth. “If I were in your stead I would hope for the same treatment.”

“Ah, gotcha. Golden Rule. Treat others the way you wanna be treated,” Tony said, nodding and humming. “Nice. I respect that, Reindeer Games.”

“Please do not call me that.”

“Maleficent, then?”

“That is even worse.”

“All right, then Elphaba!” Tony decided, grinning. When Loki huffed but pulled half a smile, Tony figured he couldn’t be too mad. “All right, then, Elphie, so your plan is to have me build something?”

“Well, I had hoped to obtain the best ship possible, before, but now that you’re here it wouldn’t matter if I did, because you would be able to improve it infinitely.”

Tony’s hand went to his heart. “Aw, Lokes, I’m touched!”

Snorting, Loki turned away from him and walked back toward the egg chair he had been sitting in. “I am no fool. You are one of the most intelligent beings I have ever come across. Ignoring your talent would make a moron of myself.”

“Did you just say you’d have to be an ass to not see that I’m smart?”

“Essentially.”

Again, Tony’s hand went to his heart. “Lokes, you say the sweetest things. You know how to make a man feel good.” Loki snorted again at the implications of what Tony said, and hearing him laugh made Tony chuckle in response. He had hoped Loki would get the joke.

“For someone who just learned he was to be sold like a petty trinket, you seem to be in a jovial mood,” Loki teased, turning back to look at Tony before deciding to go to the kitchen looking space.

“If I don’t joke about it I’ll have to actually stop and think about how fucked it is,” Tony said, “I’m coping.”

Nodding, Loki pulled out what looked like a white tea pot, except egg shaped. What was with the eggs? Was Tony in that one weird Jimmy Neutron movie that Happy showed him when he was high? Was there a giant chicken waiting to eat adults somewhere on this planet?

“Tea?” Loki offered, holding up a round jar full of dry crushed leaves. Tony shrugged, so the god took that as a yes and got two cups.

“Okay, seriously, everything in this place is shaped like a fucking egg!”

Loki had started for a moment in surprise before laughing out loud. He actually was holding his stomach he was laughing so hard. It was nice. Tony had started laughing along with him, he couldn’t help it. Loki had a surprisingly infectious laugh.

“Oh, thank the Norns I wasn’t the only one who noticed,” Loki said once he finally stopped his giggles. “It is strange, isn’t it? Even the keys to this building are shaped that way.”

“Fucking why!?” Tony jumped up off the couch and went to pick up one of the egg glasses. “Why _this_ fucking shape?”

Loki rolled his shoulders and chuckled again. “If I knew, I would be the first to tell you, Stark.”

 

* * *

 

Tony was sitting on the floor, back completely up against the side of the couch, staring up at Loki as the god explained the situation to him the next morning.

“I will be gone most of the day,” he started, “You absolutely _must_ stay here. The populace believes you a slave, if you are seen wandering without me you will either be killed or raped.” Tony shuddered at the idea of either. “I am certain my neighbor desires you. I had to outbid him thrice before he finally conceded he lost.”

“Who the fuck says ‘thrice’ anymore?”

“Pay attention,” Loki snapped back. “You can do whatever you like here in the flat, but you need to stay here. I have placed at least a dozen wards over this space and at least half a dozen more on the door itself. You will be safe within these walls, but I will leave you a few of my daggers on the off chance you need them.”

Tony nodded as he listened to Loki. “And you’ll bring me back some tech?”

“Whatever I can afford to buy today, yes,” Loki replied. “And if I take more than that, who would be the wiser?”

Tony snorted. “Certainly not little old me,” he said with a smirk. Loki sent him one last smile, set down three silver daggers near his feet, and then left through the silver door.

That had been hours ago.

Tony was bored out of his mind. He had looked through all the books, couldn’t read any of them, rummaged around the bedroom a few times, and had rearranged the kitchen five times. There wasn’t even a TV in this stupid place. He was half tempted to take apart the stuff in the kitchen and start building with it, but Loki had said he was going to bring him back some supplies to work with. He could reign in his destructive tendencies for one day, right? Right?

As he approached what he was pretty sure was the stove for the seventh time that day, Tony stopped when he heard the sound of a rattling doorknob. Slowly turning to look, he could see the doorknob of the silver door shaking and trembling. Then he heard a low, guttural growling sound and he was running to grab one of the daggers Loki left for him. Loki had also left him a translator and Tony was quickly shoving it into his ear.

The words, “Come on pretty thing, open up~” being purred into his ear made Tony want to throw the translator right back onto the table. He stalked closer to the door, holding a dagger in each hand. He moved himself to the side of the door so that if it opened, he would be hidden behind the door and would have the element of surprise. He kept the weapons close to him and listened in silence as whatever was on the other side of the door continued trying to entice him out.

“I know your master isn’t home, come on out.”

“He won’t have to know. It’ll just be you and me.”

“I’m sure he’s not satisfying you like I could. Just open the door and I’ll make you feel so good, pet.”

If Tony hadn’t wanted to vomit before, he sure as hell did now. Whatever that fucking thing was outside, he was definitely not letting it in. Clearly Loki had not been lying when he said his neighbor wanted to get into his pants.

He had to bite his tongue to keep from spitting out some sort of sarcastic remark. Maybe if he was quiet the fuckwad out there would go away.

“I know you’re there, pretty thing. I can smell you~”

Okay, so fuck biting his tongue, then.

“Fuck off,” Tony spit out, holding the daggers tighter.

“Oooh, so you _can_ talk. And what a pretty voice you have. You would sound so lovely screaming for me, pet.”

“Yeah, not happening. The only person who has ever made me scream has been myself every time I fuck something up,” Tony hissed. “And maybe Rhodey, but he doesn’t need to know about that.”

“What have you done to the door, pet? Hm? Holding a burning torch to the other side, are you? That won’t work on me, lovely.” Tony frowned at that comment. Burning torch? Ohh, the wards. That was what Loki was talking about.

“Immune to heat, huh?” Tony decided to try. Maybe he could let Loki know to use an ice spell instead.

Whatever thing was on the other side of the door laughed. “I’m surprised the door hasn’t broken yet. What have you done to it?”

“Hey, fuckface, hate to disappoint you, but the _master_ you keep badmouthing knows what he’s doing. If he doesn’t want that door to open, it ain’t fucking opening,” Tony snapped, spitting a little bit with the force of his words. For extra measure, he added in, “Dumb ass.”

He heard the loud, offended roar on the other side of the door and crouched into a fighting position with the daggers. If he was going to be attacked, he would be ready.

His fight never came, however. The roar was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Outside the door was silence for a heartbeat before Tony heard the sound of keys jingling.

“Loki?” he called out, hopeful and still scared.

“You had better be presentable in there,” the god replied. Then the door was pushed open and closed quickly before being locked. Loki waited a moment, lifted a hand, made a few shapes in glowing green against the door, and then let his hand drop back down to prop his forehead against the door. When the sound of another door slamming shut met his ears, Loki lifted his head. He turned his head and noticed Tony crouched to his left. He raised a brow at him.

“Don’t ask,” Tony said, standing back up. Loki only nodded, smirking a little, and stepped away from the door. Quickly clapping his hands together, Tony grinned up at the god. “So! What’d ya bring me?”

Chuckling, Loki made a swift motion with his hands and suddenly several foot tall piles of various metals, screws, wires, plates, and doo-dads dropped into existence on the floor of the space. Tony jumped back in surprise at first, but quickly his face split into a grin and he was diving down into one of the piles with an excited squeak.

“Is this sufficient to get you started?” Loki asked, watching Tony start separating things into smaller piles.

“Are you kidding?” Tony asked, beaming up at Loki. “When I built the first Iron Man suit, all I had to work with were scraps! This is great! Look! Look at this! This is a fully made memory chip! I can use pieces of this instead of building them from scratch!” Loki laughed and watched him for a moment before kneeling down to help him separate the pieces. Occasionally Tony would stop him from putting something into one pile or another or scold him for thinking that this one tiny piece of hardware was anything like the nearly identical tiny piece of hardware. How could he possibly get them mixed up? The fool!

“I’ve added a ward that muffles all noises in this flat,” Loki told Tony absently as they continued sorting the pieces Tony needed. “You should be able to build in peace.”

“Awesome,” Tony said, picking up a long coil of spring and setting it off by itself. “You may wanna add an ice spell to the door, by the way. Fuckin Johnny next door was saying the heat didn’t bother him.”

“Noted.” Loki got up and began making more of those glowing green shapes on the door. Tony paused his sorting to watch him.

“Whatchya doin?”

Glancing back at him, Loki replied, “Placing protective enchantments on the door.”

“Looks cool,” Tony said, watching the shapes fade once Loki was done. “Think you’d ever be able to teach me how to do that?”

Loki snorted. “Would you be able to teach me how to build one of your suits?”

Pondering it for a moment, Tony eventually decided, “Probably not. It’s really complicated even for people who get tech stuff. And I’m a pretty shit teacher, anyway.”

Again Loki snorted. “As is magic for those who do not have basic knowledge of the art.” He shrugged his shoulders and settled back down next to Tony. “Perhaps if we had more time to truly teach one another we would be able to.”

“Did you bring me tools to work with all this?”

On cue, Loki summoned up an entire box full of tools. “What do you take me for, an idiot?” He teased, grinning at Tony.

“I’m not taking you anywhere,” Tony snipped back, snatching the box from the god’s hands. “I don’t want crazy germs.”

 

* * *

 

Tony had finally made a suit. It was a random jumble of colors instead of a sleeker design, but it was functional and it was decidedly better than nothing. He didn’t have FRIDAY installed in it, so there was no voice to tell him things when he went inside, but he was just happy to finally have a suit.

He had been on that planet with Loki for months. Loki had been able to take him out of the apartment a few times and let him get the stir crazy out of his system, but each time he did it was either be invisible or wear the stupid slave uniform and be a well behaved pet in public. Being invisible meant he couldn’t point out tech to Loki that he needed or ask Loki what different things were, so most of the time he forced himself to suck up the humiliation of putting on a collar and leash and letting someone else walk him around.

A few times when they had gone out like that someone had tried to get their hands on Tony. The first time he had his ass groped he screamed, jumped away, and all but clung to Loki while the god punished his attacker. Loki had said he had to put on a good show of being possessive of what was his, but Tony had hardly heard him over the blood rushing in his ears. Loki had to take them to a private area under a weird looking tree to help him through his panic attack.

When one alien had gotten particularly handsy with Tony, Loki actually cut one of their hands off. The sight and smell had been so bad that Tony threw up right where he stood. It had taken a long time for his panic attack after that one to go away.

Now that he had his suit, things already felt better. Loki had finally been able to buy them a ship and he brought Tony to the ship, invisible, with his suit to start working on improving it. It was nice to have his hands building again. It was even nicer knowing that he had Loki there to let him know if someone was coming or if any threats were nearby. He had used his magic on the ship and nobody could hear what he was doing inside. Tony had made a sexual joke about that which made Loki laugh and they had both gotten right to work.

Loki was surprisingly nice to spend time with. Considering the last time Tony had seen him, he got thrown out a window, this playful banter back and forth and protectiveness was a welcome change. He figured if the whole New York thing had never happened, he and Loki probably would have been good friends. He could just picture Thor introducing everyone to his little brother and Loki making some sort of joke that would go right over Thor’s head. The idea made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“Hey, what’s Thor been up to lately? Haven’t seen him in like… pff, a year?” Tony asked as he yanked at some wires.

Loki paused in what he had been doing to scowl. “You’re bringing him up now?” He sighed loudly. “He has been running around ‘cleaning up my mess’ as you would put it.”

“You mean you did more than just fuck up New York?”

“Not really,” Loki replied. “I was simply blamed for a lot more chaos happening because other worlds heard of what happened.”

Tony laughed. “Sounds like the typical life of a little sibling.”

“I thought you were an only child.”

“I was,” Tony said, “But I knew plenty of people with siblings. The younger one almost always got away with a ton of crap, but when they were blamed for shit it was usually like _all_ the shit was their fault.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Thor was allowed much more freedom than I ever was to make mistakes.”

“Which is weird, cuz he’s like, the crown prince right?” Tony commented. “On Earth, usually the first prince has to be super prim and proper and the younger siblings are allowed a bit more freedom to be fuck ups. Thor didn’t have to like, I dunno, uphold any image?”

Now Loki scoffed. “Oh, he upheld an image all right. He was the shining example of a warrior prince. Fearsome and powerful and huge. Exactly as an Asgardian prince should be… Exactly the opposite of myself.”

Tony dropped what he was doing and turned to look at Loki. “Dude, who the fuck said you weren’t powerful!?” When Loki only looked away, Tony pressed on, stepping closer. “Dude, you’re scary as fuck! You cut that one guy’s hand off like it was butter! Sliced through the bones and everything like it was nothing!” He stepped closer again, ignoring the way Loki tensed. “You could snap my neck without batting an eye and that’s fucking sexy as hell!” Now Loki jolted and looked at Tony with wide eyes.

“Excuse me?”

“Pepper’s always telling me I’m attracted to danger, and honestly she’s not wrong. The first time I saw Black Widow beat Happy into a chokehold I had a boner for three hours! You lifting me off the ground like I weighed nothing was so fucking hot, you have no idea!”

“Stark?”

Fuck it. Tony grabbed Loki’s neck and slammed his lips into the god’s. When Loki responded in kind and threw Tony onto the floor, ripping at his clothes, Tony found himself incredibly thankful that Loki had placed a silencing spell on the ship. Things were going to get loud.

 

* * *

 

The ship was finally complete. Loki had punched in coordinates, Tony had put on his suit just in case, and they both got the fuck out of dodge. When Tony had asked how long it would be before they would be able to teleport, Loki said he wasn’t sure. It could be months more, he said.

If Tony had thought he was going stir crazy on that planet, he definitely was on that ship. There were only so many places he could go while it was on auto pilot. And when it needed to be manually flown, Loki usually was the one guiding it through meteor fields and debris. He had more experience flying alien aircraft. Tony didn’t argue it.

They made a stop on a small planet to refuel, get food, and let Tony stretch his legs. Loki warned him not to take off his suit on the planet. “The air is incredibly contaminated, and without your suit’s filtration system you will be slowly poisoned.”

“Well, I’ve been slowly poisoned before, but I definitely don’t wanna experience that again.”

Loki stared at him for a moment before shaking his head and said, “I am not even going to ask.”

The god had shifted his form on the planet. He looked pretty much the same, except his skin was red and he had solid black eyes and markings on his face. Also, Tony was pretty sure he saw that he had an extra set of arms, but they were hidden under Loki’s cape, so he couldn’t be certain.

Seeing all the tech on this planet, Tony grumbled to Loki. “Why couldn’t we have landed on this planet? They’ve got so much nicer stuff!”

Loki laughed at him. “Are you saying you wouldn’t have preferred not ending up on an alien planet at all?”

“I didn’t say that!”

Loki just grinned back at him and they continued walking around. They both stopped at a place that had food that looked vaguely like Earth food and ate together. Some of the food, though it looked good, made Tony gag and Loki look a little green around the gills. Tony could not wait to get home and have a cheeseburger.

“So once we’re both out of this mess,” Tony said, carefully inserting a bit of the food into his mask and holding his breath, “What’re you gonna do?”

Loki shrugged. “What I had been doing before,” he simply said.

“Gee, thanks, that clears it up real well, asshole.”

“If I told you, how would I know you wouldn’t tell Thor?”

Tony made a face at him. “Dude, we’ve slept together, I think you can trust me to keep my fucking mouth shut. Besides, like I said, I haven’t seen old Point Break in a year.”

After mulling it over for a moment, Loki finally spoke. “I had been posing as Odin on the throne.”

“No shit,” Tony leaned forward, grinning, though Loki couldn’t see it beneath his mask. “And nobody knows it’s really you?”

Loki shrugged. “Heimdall had been suspicious, but he disappeared shortly after I took the throne.”

“Does anyone know you’re gone?”

Another shrug. “I have plenty of spells and wards around the palace. If need be, I’m sure a disguised clone is posing in my stead and keeping the peace.”

“You have clones? Are they real or magic?”

“Though I am not sure the difference you mean, they are produced through magic,” Loki answered.

Nodding, Tony hummed. “Well, in that case, if you ever want a vacation and just wanna pop over to my little corner of Earth, you are more than welcome!”

Loki laughed at his enthusiasm, but held up his glass and they toasted to the possible visit.

 

* * *

 

It had been a random moment that Loki suddenly stood up in the ship. Tony had asked him what was going on and Loki simply yanked him up out of his own seat, wrapped an arm around him, and the next thing Tony knew he was landing on his ass in his Malibu home.

“Boss!? Thank goodness!” FRIDAY’s voice chimed out all around him. Tony was so happy he could cry. “Where have you been!? It’s been seven months! You disappeared without a trace! Everyone has been searching for you everywhere!”

Tony started trying to lift himself up, but paused when he saw Loki offering him a hand. He took it happily and stepped out of his suit once he was standing.

“Why is Loki in the house? Boss, do I need to alert the authorities?”

“No!” Tony quickly waved his hands at one of FRIDAY’s cameras. “No, no, FRIDAY, you don’t need to do that. In fact, don’t let anybody know Loki was ever here. He’s the only reason I made it back home at all. I think I kind of owe it to him to keep his secret.” He winked at Loki after saying that and Loki rolled his eyes at him.

“Yes, boss… If I may ask, what happened? Why do you have a new suit?”

“Oh, man, it’s a long story, girl. Before I start telling you, think you can install yourself in that new suit?” Tony asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m not sure I want to, sir,” FRIDAY said, “It’s hideous.”

Tony laughed out loud at that. “Hey, I worked with what I had! Loki even enhanced it with magical hoohah! I’m keeping it!”

“Very well, boss. What should we call this new suit, then?”

Rubbing his chin, Tony thought about it. He looked to Loki, but Loki only motioned a hand to him and told him that it was his decision. Eyes lighting up, Tony announced, “Let’s call it Maleficent!”

“Oh, Norns…” Loki rubbed his hand against his forehead.

“Okay, then how ‘bout Elphaba?!”

“Boss, if I may, why not Glinda the Good Witch?” FRIDAY offered up from within the suit itself. Tony beamed at her. That was his brilliant girl. Already integrated in the new suit.

Smirking cheekily at Loki, Tony decided, “That’s perfect. Glinda it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
